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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063759">Dihydrogen Monoxide</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForGreaterEffect/pseuds/ForGreaterEffect'>ForGreaterEffect</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Apex Legends (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Chemistry, Forehead Kisses, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Science</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:35:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>798</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25063759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForGreaterEffect/pseuds/ForGreaterEffect</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader decides to play a harmless prank on the Toxic Trapper, but have they pushed him a little too far this time?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Caustic | Alexander Nox/Reader, Caustic | Alexander Nox/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dihydrogen Monoxide</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've had this idea forever and am finally posting it, please let me know what you think!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You grin to yourself as you carefully arrange the last of your prank. You had found them stashed under his desk in a large box. There were tons of the little things and in such a vast assortment of colors. What looked deceptively like a toolbox was filled to the brim, albeit neatly, with dozens of colorful plastic balls with holes in them and nearly an equal number of plastic sticks. </p>
<p>Your original intent was to find tools to fix some of your equipment but your discovery has the potential of being so much more fun.</p>
<p>You’ve managed to spread them out all over his desk where his most important work is strewn about. You want to feel bad about the prank but getting some kind rise out of the normally stoic and stone-faced man is more than worth the ire that you might incur from him. </p>
<p>You weren’t a chemist, so much of the importance of the colors of the little plastic balls was lost on you. However, a little help from the internet had you on the right track.</p>
<p>You hear the door to the apartment open and rush to splash some water over your clothes before hurrying out to the foyer. </p>
<p>He’s in his casual clothes. A charcoal-colored turtleneck and a pair of worn jeans. There’s a worn leather bag slung over his shoulder in which you assume is more work that he’s brought up from the lab.</p>
<p>He doesn’t look very tired today, and for that you’re thankful, this wouldn’t be any fun if he was stressed and worn out.</p>
<p>But he’s not, so you put on your best distressed face as you rush towards him.</p>
<p>“Alex! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I was in the office cleaning and I accidentally spilled water all over your desk!” You whimper, lip wobbling.</p>
<p>The man doesn’t say anything as he gazes down at you. His striking eyes narrow and his mouth sets into a firm line.</p>
<p>For a moment you swear you can feel beads of sweat running like icicles down your spine. Was this too much? This was a horrible idea! He’s so mad, you can practically feel it radiating off of him. His hands clench into fists at his sides and the motions of one of his finishers flash into your mind. There’s no way he would hit you, at least not outside the ring. </p>
<p>His shoulders relax and one of his previously balled hands unfurls to run his fingers through his hair. The silence is unbearable and you can’t help but think that today is the day you’ve pushed him too far.</p>
<p>The titan of a man brushes past you without a word and moves into the office. You duck your head and wait, trying to keep yourself from cackling as you listen for his reaction. </p>
<p>Hands clasped over your mouth to stifle the laughs, you tiptoe after him peaking around the doorway just in time to see him throw back his head and LAUGH.</p>
<p>The sound is booming as he laughs deep in his belly and the sound makes a grin split your face.</p>
<p>You watch as he reaches for one of the little molecule models sitting on his desk, examining it before glancing around at all of them strewn across the surface seemingly taking note of the sheer quantity of them.</p>
<p>The laughing has died down to a deep chuckling from his chest and then he’s turning back around to face you.</p>
<p>“What a clever mouse you are, come here.” He beckons with a large hand. </p>
<p>You step into the office and make your way up to him, positively beaming. </p>
<p>He presses a warm kiss to your forehead, rubbing a hand down your spine as he admires the little molecule he has in his large hand.</p>
<p>“For a second I thought you were going to be really, really mad.” You confess as a bright blush paints your neck and cheeks pink. Things would have been really awkward if you two hand gotten into a spat over the ordeal before he had even witnessed your little prank.</p>
<p>He shakes his head and laughs again brushing a thumb against your cheek. “I knew you were up to something the moment you confessed to your transgression.” He notes. “But I couldn’t help but go along with the ruse.”</p>
<p>You step back as a skeptical look crosses your features as you side-eye him. “How did you know?”</p>
<p>He glances back at his desk covered in molecule models, before fixing his toxic gaze back on you. “You’re barefoot, and you curl your toes when you lie.”</p>
<p>Your face scrunches in irritation. “What traitorous toes I have.” You say glancing down at the offending appendages.</p>
<p>He places another warm kiss on your forehead. “Traitorous little digits indeed.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading this! Based on feedback there may or may not be a smutty second chapter with an alternate ending. Hit that Kudos, drop a comment, or don't, you do you!</p>
<p>Sorry to everyone waiting on chapters three and four of Paradise Calling, please forgive me for taking an eternity to write things.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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